I Feel Like Esau

I have been unhappy with my last post for it does not express well what I am trying to communicate about exploring my future. I led worship this morning at Belle Meade United Methodist and Mike, the pastor, preached on Jacob and Esau and helped me realize a better way of communicating what I am feeling.

Jacob and Esau are twins at odds with each other. Jacob first tricks Esau, the older of the two, out of his birthright and then, by way of outright deception, tricks their dad into giving Jacob his blessing which rightfully belonged to Esau. This blessing was from God and was supposed to be passed on to the eldest son. As you can imagine, Esau was in anguish over learning what had been stolen from him. He cried out to his father asking if there was even one blessing left for him. His father answered no, that Jacob had received everything.

I realize that over the years in my struggles with the church, I often feel more like Esau than Jacob. I also know well that there are huge people groups out there whose encounter with the church has left them living more deeply in Esau’s story rather than in Jacob’s story of blessing. That’s who consumes my heart these days and where I want to serve next; with those who have experienced this lesser truth of a God who withholds his love and blessing from his children.

Our time in Nashville introduced us firsthand to the struggles and deep frustrations within the GLBT community concerning their relationship with the church. Many of our friends have been told repeatedly that they are somehow lesser beings in God’s eyes and are undeserving of His love and grace. This is a lie for God takes great pleasure and delight in all of his children.

In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan brings a broken and bleeding Jewish man to an innkeeper and charges him with doing whatever is necessary to bring the Jewish man back to health and wholeness. The church often interprets the Samaritan as being Jesus which means that we in the church are the innkeepers, charged by Christ to restore all who are broken and bleeding to wholeness with God and each other.

Our story, all of our stories, is one of God taking great delight in each of us. I want to help people discover or rediscover this delight.